1 00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,677 Na-no, na-no! 2 00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:35,472 Mindy, dinner was delicious. 3 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,707 Since Cathy is away, I'm grateful for any meal 4 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:40,343 that doesn't begin with the word "instant." 5 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,978 You certainly are in a good mood today, 6 00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,614 considering Uncle Dave is coming into town tomorrow. 7 00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,150 Yeah, well, we never got along very well. 8 00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,719 It's just, well, he's always accomplished more than I did, 9 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:50,887 and he let me know about it. 10 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,022 He's always been a little eccentric. 11 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,291 Is that why every time you see him 12 00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,226 you break out in hives? 13 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:58,195 Yeah, well, maybe this time it'll be different. 14 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,997 After all, it's been seven years since I've seen him... 15 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:04,067 and he reminded me of his island in the Caribbean. 16 00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,957 And my mortgage in Boulder. 17 00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:09,272 Well, you can stop scratching, Dad. 18 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:10,640 I'll make him a great dinner, 19 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,599 and tell Mork not to cut his meat with his finger. 20 00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,054 Am I home yet, Mind? 21 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:26,055 Yes, Mork. 22 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,290 Oh, thank goodness, 23 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,514 this is the sixth house I've backed into. 24 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,562 All right, I'll ask. 25 00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:34,131 Mork, why are you walking backwards? 26 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:38,568 I'm celebrating my heritage. This is National Backwards Day. 27 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,672 It's something that everyone looks forward to on Ork. 28 00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:44,341 I'm in big trouble. 29 00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:46,176 Oh, Pops, nice not seeing you. 30 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,232 Ha ha. 31 00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:51,881 So you've been out walking around all day backwards. 32 00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,450 Didn't people stare at you? 33 00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:56,253 I don't know. I don't have eyes in the back of my head. 34 00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:59,623 Well, I have to go. 35 00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,691 Honey, just make sure you turn him around 36 00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:03,627 by the time Dave gets here. 37 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:04,994 Pops, don't start scratching yet. 38 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,658 That holiday's not until next month. 39 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,669 So Mork, how long does National Backwards Day last? 40 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:13,770 In Earth years, Mind? 41 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,071 Mork... 42 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,841 It's over, Mind. By the way, who's Dave? 43 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,210 Oh, Dave is Dad's brother. 44 00:03:20,234 --> 00:03:22,279 Pop has a biological brother? 45 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,548 Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah! 46 00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,849 Is he older, younger? Male, female? 47 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,752 Well, he's older... 48 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:32,189 and brothers are almost usually always male. 49 00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:33,945 Oh, not Dr. Joyce Brothers. 50 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:37,860 It's been years since we've seen 51 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,396 Uncle Dave and Aunt Caroline. 52 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,298 Dad really wants to impress his brother, 53 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,600 so, please, try to act like an earthling. 54 00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,464 You got it, Mind. Who do you want me to be? 55 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,600 Catchy tune. 56 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,114 Oh, it's here. It's my package from Ork. 57 00:03:58,138 --> 00:03:59,482 I ordered it special delivery. 58 00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,706 Ooh... 59 00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,522 Thank you, and no tip. You were slow opening. 60 00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:08,958 Oh, yum. 61 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:11,528 Oh, Mind, ceremonial food for Backwards Day. 62 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:12,529 What is it? 63 00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:13,530 It's called fleck. 64 00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:14,931 Fleck? What's that? 65 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:17,867 It's like nargle, except you don't grow feathers. 66 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,936 It doesn't look like food. 67 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,070 These are the seeds, Mind. 68 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,039 You just plant them, and up comes fleck. 69 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,474 There we go. 70 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:27,599 ♪ Now, little one, In time and growth we'll know ♪ 71 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,219 Mork, on Ork, do all plants grow that fast? 72 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,454 Yes, Mindy. 73 00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,918 On Ork, even the begonias have stretch marks. 74 00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,667 Hello, Caroline. Fred, dear... 75 00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:51,901 How nice to see you. 76 00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:52,902 Hi, Aunt Caroline. 77 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:54,604 This can't be Mindy. 78 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,772 Yeah. 79 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:59,942 Oh, my, what a big girl you've grown up to be. 80 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,444 So where's that big brother of mine? 81 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,514 Oh, uh, Dave, dear, Fred and Mindy are here. 82 00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,898 Oh, he just can't wait to see you. 83 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,196 Junior, as I make it, you're four minutes late. 84 00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,299 I've bought companies in less time. 85 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,402 Yes, I know, Dave, but it's wonderful to see ya. 86 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:28,871 Wait a minute. This is Mindy, of course. 87 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:32,141 What a pretty little girl you are. 88 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,476 The outfit's a little strange. 89 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,820 I don't know about the sweater, the... 90 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:37,580 Doesn't make any difference. 91 00:05:37,604 --> 00:05:39,616 Uncle Dave, it's nice to see you. 92 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,150 Good. 93 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,641 I'll save those. 94 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,291 You just move your little Adidas into the kitchen, 95 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,795 and let's get some goodies, huh? 96 00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,796 Yes, Daddy, dear. 97 00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,864 Oh, I don't know what I'd do without her, 98 00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:56,187 I think I'll keep her. 99 00:05:58,559 --> 00:06:01,438 Tell me something, junior... 100 00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,982 where's your ball and chain? 101 00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:07,811 My what? 102 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,613 I-I think he means your little wifey. 103 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:14,484 Oh, oh. Cathy's in Chicago this weekend. 104 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:18,555 You let her travel... by herself? 105 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:21,290 Oh, yeah, she plays flute in a chamber group. 106 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,692 Fascinating. 107 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,563 No. No, they're very good. 108 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,964 Oh, come on, junior, 109 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,566 you gotta be kidding me. 110 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,235 I mean, you got your wife playing the flute in Chicago, 111 00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,759 putting a stick in her face? 112 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,195 You can't cut it on your own? 113 00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,310 Hey, tell me something, incidentally... 114 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,311 how's the arm? 115 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,880 It itches. 116 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,048 Well, I mean, you're the maestro, the guy with the baton. 117 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,418 How about a little building up of the biceps, huh? 118 00:06:48,442 --> 00:06:51,120 Oh, well, no, Dave. Come on, now. 119 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,190 I think we're a little old for all of this, don't you? 120 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,393 What do you mean, "a little old," junior? 121 00:06:56,417 --> 00:07:00,752 Oh, no. You're never too old for the taste of victory. 122 00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:02,899 Okay. 123 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,483 All right? All right? 124 00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:10,072 Here we go. Okay? 125 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,196 Okay. One more for me. 126 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,370 Now you have a real disadvantage. 127 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:21,651 Okay. All right. Ready? 128 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:22,675 Yeah. 129 00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,059 Hello. Dave McConnell here. 130 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,327 About what? 131 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:33,696 You want me to speak to the Boulder Association? 132 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:34,798 Uncle Dave... 133 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,699 Wait a minute. 134 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:38,435 Um, I thought you and Aunt Caroline 135 00:07:38,459 --> 00:07:40,470 were having dinner at my house tonight. 136 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,604 Yeah, that's right, 137 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,205 but what time are we eating, sweetheart? 138 00:07:43,229 --> 00:07:45,041 Uh... 7:30? 139 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,843 7:30... 7:30... 140 00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,646 Listen, how about 9:00, okay, boys? 141 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:50,950 I'll be there. 142 00:07:52,005 --> 00:07:54,405 Let's see, where was I? Oh, yeah. 143 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:03,793 Well, I guess some things never change. 144 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,929 Wrong, junior. 145 00:08:05,953 --> 00:08:09,420 No... this time you didn't cry for mommy. 146 00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,201 Let's take a look at it. 147 00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:13,305 Awww. 148 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:21,177 Mmm, this smells good. 149 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:22,868 Mmm, is that good. 150 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,238 Mind, how do my pants look? 151 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,152 Very nice. 152 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,153 I pressed them myself. 153 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,321 Think I can get a better crease 154 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,923 if I take them off first? 155 00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:35,358 Yes, possibly. 156 00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,426 Mork, could you help me finish setting the table? 157 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,496 Uncle Dave is really in a hurry 158 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,330 and he wants to eat as soon as he gets here. 159 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:44,200 Well, maybe we could start off by serving frogs' arms. 160 00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,802 We're not serving frogs' arms. 161 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,506 See, we're already ahead of schedule. 162 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,172 You know, I don't know why we're going 163 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:51,541 to all this trouble for Uncle Dave. 164 00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,543 I mean, he hasn't been very nice to Dad. 165 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:54,644 I'm making this big meal, 166 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:57,028 and you made this delicious dessert. 167 00:08:57,137 --> 00:08:58,247 My delicious... Mind... 168 00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,616 Are you inferring that some of that 169 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,117 has passed by your perky, little lips? 170 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,385 Oh, yeah. It's good. 171 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,520 Mind, that was fleck, 172 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,654 Fleck? 173 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,389 And no earthling has ever eaten that before. 174 00:09:06,413 --> 00:09:08,157 I'm going to be all right, aren't I? 175 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:10,527 Just be calm, and tell me where you keep your stomach pump. 176 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:11,928 Stomach pump? 177 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,295 Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you. 178 00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,879 We'll just have to use the plunger. Open up! 179 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,934 Come on, you're overreacting. 180 00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:20,169 I just ate a little, tiny piece, and I feel fine. 181 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:22,005 Will you sign a statement to that effect, Mind? 182 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,740 Sure. 183 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,107 I guess if it's okay for Orkans, 184 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,242 it's all right for you. 185 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,977 Listen, Mork, there's nothing wrong with me 186 00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,812 that getting through this evening won't cure. 187 00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:31,596 I'll get it. 188 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,940 I wonder if Uncle Dave would mind if I tied her to a chair. 189 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,227 Mork, what did I just do? 190 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,328 Something like this... 191 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,202 It must be the fleck. 192 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,171 But I feel perfectly normal right now. 193 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:57,462 Mindy, it's dad. 194 00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:02,011 Mork, if I start acting strange, cover for me, all right? 195 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,846 I mean, Dad's got enough on his mind. 196 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,314 Be calm, be calm, be calm. 197 00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:06,838 Hello. Hi. 198 00:10:08,508 --> 00:10:10,286 I'll just put this over here. 199 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,088 Mindy, you look beautiful, 200 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:14,958 and, Mork, you look... almost human. 201 00:10:14,982 --> 00:10:16,358 And I really want to thank you. 202 00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:18,394 I appreciate you trying to make everything normal. 203 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,896 Wait, wait, wait. What? 204 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,897 Whoa! 205 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,201 Take a look over here. 206 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,934 Will you look at that wall there? 207 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,535 Mork, what are we looking at? 208 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,137 You're looking right there at that wall. 209 00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,772 It's amazing how the floor and the ceiling 210 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,308 kind of butt together. 211 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:33,643 Well, Mork, that is interesting, 212 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:35,778 but I think maybe tonight it might be a good idea 213 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,280 if we don't discuss wall appreciation with Dave. 214 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,824 All right. That's fine, sir, I think... 215 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,221 How about we sit down 216 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,725 and have a little snort before dinner? 217 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,628 You know, it always relaxes you. It relaxes me too. 218 00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:54,012 How about a little toddy for the body? 219 00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,166 Mind, are you all right? 220 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,357 Mork, I can't seem to control myself. 221 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,672 Why did this have to happen tonight? 222 00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:03,696 I don't know, Mind. 223 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,775 That's Dave. 224 00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:08,080 He never has time to knock twice. 225 00:11:10,436 --> 00:11:11,413 I shall get it. 226 00:11:11,437 --> 00:11:13,604 No, wait. I'll answer it. 227 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,224 What's she doing? 228 00:11:22,248 --> 00:11:23,381 The bunny hop. 229 00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:31,934 Listen, Mindy... 230 00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:33,302 What's going on around here? 231 00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,204 Hello. Hi. 232 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,974 Hello, Caroline. Hello, Dave. 233 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,009 Hello, umm... my name is Mork. 234 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,966 I'm the Caucasian help this evening. 235 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,313 I do not live with Mindy, 236 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,715 and it's a pleasure to have you here. 237 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,050 Yeah, all right... Kid? 238 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:48,234 Thank you, sir. 239 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:52,177 Come on, let's eat, junior. Time is Krugerrands. 240 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:56,492 It's nice having you here, Uncle Dave. 241 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,228 My, what a lovely apartment. I just love... 242 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,797 Please, please... 243 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:03,381 you keep chattering, Mother, we're going to miss dessert! 244 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:06,703 Well, Dave, I certainly hope you're hungry 245 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,905 because Mindy has prepared a wonderful dinner. 246 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,339 Incidentally, incidentally... 247 00:12:10,363 --> 00:12:11,974 Mother, do you want to pass along 248 00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,132 this fine bottle of sauce to junior? 249 00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,815 "château-la-fête McConnell." 250 00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,517 Your own vineyard. That's quite impressive, Dave. 251 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,320 The fact is it's Mother's and mine, isn't it? 252 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,321 Just north of Napa. 253 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,156 Huge monastery, about 50 monks. 254 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,479 We lost four. 255 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:33,730 Jumped a bus or something. I don't know. 256 00:12:33,754 --> 00:12:36,799 At any rate, long about late July, early August, 257 00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:39,223 those little devils come out... 258 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,003 jumping up and down on their little feet 259 00:12:41,027 --> 00:12:42,471 and pressing out these grapes. 260 00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,941 Of course, there are no women in the monastery, 261 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,475 are there, Mother? 262 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,444 No, there are not. 263 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,880 So you just see them jumping up and down 264 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,749 on their little feet, going away, going away, 265 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,516 stepping on those little grapes. 266 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:55,985 Uncle Dave, sir, Aunt Caroline, sir, 267 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,409 can I show you the rest of the house? 268 00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:00,522 There's the attic. Here's the bedroom. 269 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,791 This is our living room, 270 00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,393 or as we like to call it, our living space. 271 00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,896 Mindy, are you all right? 272 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,697 Uhh, yeah, uhh... 273 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,332 I'll explain it to you later, but, dad... 274 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,433 I'm fine. 275 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:13,903 Dinner's ready. 276 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:17,473 Well, let's all sit down, shall we? 277 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:18,908 Let's go over and sit down. 278 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:19,942 This is a special occasion. 279 00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:22,526 Normally we have duck in a bucket. 280 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,881 Here you are, Mother. 281 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,738 Ahh ha ha! Beat ya to it, jelly belly! 282 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:40,596 Get some therapy for her. Therapy, huh? 283 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,064 Mindy, are you all right? 284 00:13:42,088 --> 00:13:43,800 She normally likes to do this before dinner. 285 00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,001 It's kind of like a punk grace. 286 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:46,465 ♪ Can you like The food we eat? ♪ 287 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:51,440 Mindy: Mindy, Mindy. 288 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,610 I'm hungry. Could I have something to eat? 289 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,280 Would you like, uh, a-an olive? 290 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,815 Yes, I'd like an olive. 291 00:13:58,839 --> 00:13:59,816 How's this? 292 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,172 Mmm, good. Good. 293 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,922 Mmm... 294 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,011 Pft! 295 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,746 Bombs away! 296 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:10,927 I want to tell you something... 297 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,261 I want to tell you something... 298 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,264 Fit her for an electric bonnet now. 299 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,587 And set it at 580. 300 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:20,703 Dave, I think that's just Mindy's way 301 00:14:20,727 --> 00:14:22,171 of making a little joke. 302 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,339 You should see it 303 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,007 when she touches her tongue to her eyebrow. 304 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,991 We haven't had a fly in here in three years. 305 00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,948 I'm telling you, you should put a muzzle on her 306 00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,750 and send her to an obedience school. 307 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:35,918 Hey, picklepuss. 308 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:38,262 Aah! 309 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:41,212 That does it. That does it. That does it. 310 00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,627 Come on, Caroline, let's go. Let's get the coats. 311 00:14:45,651 --> 00:14:47,891 Next thing, she'll be howling at the moon. 312 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,900 Well, I don't... I don't think she would do that. 313 00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:53,324 Would she? I'm not sure. 314 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:54,837 Wait, Uncle Dave. 315 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,706 Uncle Dave, come back. Please, Aunt Caroline. 316 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,676 I-I don't know what came over me. 317 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,311 Neither do I. 318 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,080 I really apologize. 319 00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,714 I mean, you haven't even finished dinner, 320 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:07,483 and this means so much to dad and me. 321 00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,689 Uh, Dave, look... 322 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,592 I-I don't know what's come over Mindy, but please stay. 323 00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:19,161 Are you kidding? I told Caroline. 324 00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,063 I told you, coming down on the plane 325 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,199 this was going to be a bummer of a reunion! 326 00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,968 And it's a bummer! I want out! 327 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,069 I want out. 328 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,637 Wait, Uncle Dave, sir, you can't leave 329 00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,373 with bitter memories in your mind. 330 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,807 Why not leave with something sweet, 331 00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,276 like, I have this delicious dessert. 332 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,700 You have to try it. Ple-e-ease. 333 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,014 You know, incidentally, 334 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,938 you seem like the only normal one here. 335 00:15:43,509 --> 00:15:45,254 It's not bad, not bad... 336 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,778 A little on the tart side, kind of gritty. 337 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,460 Uh, Uncle Dave... 338 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,362 are you feeling all right... 339 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,886 right... right... right? 340 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,334 Of course I'm feeling... 341 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,202 All right. Right. 342 00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,271 Right. Left. Left! 343 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:10,980 All right, little girl, 344 00:16:11,004 --> 00:16:12,748 these are the trenches. 345 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,252 Not easy to ride a horse in a trench, is it? 346 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,587 Go on back in the tents with the young children. 347 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,123 Stay in that barn until the war's over. 348 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,327 You. Help with the walking wounded. 349 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:26,671 They must be walking, however. 350 00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,086 Crossed in front of a horse. 351 00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:32,701 Easy. 352 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,736 All right. Easy. 353 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,906 Men. Take a look at it. It's Whitey. 354 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,330 No, the horse. 355 00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,181 Sergeant major, good say. 356 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,205 Captain Bevra, here. 357 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,208 What say you, sir? 358 00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,259 Oh, these are the trenches, of course. 359 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,794 Hey, man, what's going on? 360 00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,562 Oh, an American. 361 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,365 Good to see you, good to see you. 362 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:03,799 You're from what division? 363 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,067 Rainbow division. 364 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,436 Come on, man, shape up or ship out. 365 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,670 Love you, love you. 366 00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,894 Let's attack anyway. 367 00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,008 Brian, Brian. 368 00:17:12,032 --> 00:17:13,564 Father. Oh, black people. 369 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:16,812 God bless you. 370 00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,947 I was kicked out of Santos, sir, they found me in a dress. 371 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,116 Doesn't make any difference... 372 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:21,517 They found you in what? A gown. 373 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,274 A gown's better. 374 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:26,688 They're coming Father, look, 375 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,657 thousands of Huns, Germans, and borscht. 376 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,259 Germans and borscht? 377 00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:31,260 What's the borscht? 378 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,117 A small soup with beets. 379 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,911 My hand, my hand! 380 00:17:48,935 --> 00:17:50,095 I'm sorry. 381 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:52,181 I'm hurt, I'm hurt. 382 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:53,715 I know you are, but you killed the old man 383 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,951 with four fingers in his head. 384 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,623 Looks like the bloody war's over. 385 00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:02,624 What a shame. 386 00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:03,625 And I got no action. 387 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:04,893 You know, I can't... 388 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,317 I think it's... No, it's my medallions. 389 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,342 There we are. 390 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,525 We'll see you after the war, probably in a VW. 391 00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:18,607 Did somebody switch brothers on me? 392 00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,110 I've never seen him act like this before. 393 00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:24,168 I don't mean to pry, dear, but are you back from the war? 394 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,853 Dave, what's come over you? 395 00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,390 Oh, I don't know, junior. 396 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,757 I was just playing. 397 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,359 Well, you never did that with me, I mean, 398 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,027 you never played with me, when we were kids. 399 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,029 Well, I know that. 400 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:44,922 When I came along, as you know, I was first. 401 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:48,498 I was first. 402 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,248 I knew at 3 years of age, I was first. 403 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,911 They gave me a little kitty and a little doggy. 404 00:18:55,935 --> 00:19:01,117 And Daddy would bounce me on his knee... left knee. 405 00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,318 And then on his right knee. 406 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,719 And then, Mama would just bounce me. 407 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,755 She'd dribble me... and shoot me, 408 00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,179 and I'd say "Voit, Voit, Voit!" 409 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:13,762 And then you came along. 410 00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:16,599 I suppose I was jealous, insanely jealous. 411 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,503 I saw your little body in a 50x20 bed. 412 00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:23,071 They played with you, painted you up, 413 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:24,928 made you a bizarre child. 414 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,869 I began to hate you, hate you, hate you. 415 00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,485 And I don't like you anymore. 416 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:41,145 I don't like you, Freddy. Don't like you, junior. 417 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,926 You wonder why I'm different, 418 00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,530 why I'm twisted and bent out of shape? 419 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:50,098 Because you took my parents... 420 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,589 from me! 421 00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:06,315 Don't worry, Aunt Caroline. 422 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:08,884 If anybody can find Uncle Dave, Mork can. 423 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:10,219 Mork, any luck? 424 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:11,375 No, I found him. 425 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:14,657 You'll never guess where. 426 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:16,292 Errrrnt! Time's up. 427 00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,216 Top of the flagpole, City Hall. 428 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:25,000 Oh, Dave, dear, are you all right? 429 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:28,837 Dave, wait a minute. Now, Dave... Dave, look... 430 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:29,893 Wait... 431 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:33,576 Well, excuse me. I think Dave needs me... 432 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,699 to yell at. 433 00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,683 Well, it was the fleck, Dad. He'll calm down. 434 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,585 No, no, no, Mindy... 435 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,086 fleck or no fleck, Dave's right. 436 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,222 We've never gotten along. We never will. 437 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:49,057 He's your brother, and he happens to feel 438 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,059 like you've robbed him of something very special. 439 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,294 What do you want me to say to him? 440 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:53,362 He doesn't listen to me. 441 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,530 I'll talk to him, Pops. 442 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,265 I mean, who talked him out of the lobster tank 443 00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,488 at the seafood shanty? 444 00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,773 Now, Dave, I think... 445 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,565 Well, I guess he can't make it worse than it already is. 446 00:21:12,505 --> 00:21:13,782 All right, let's go. 447 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,751 Wait, wait, wait, Min. Min, wait, wait. 448 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,019 Let me tell you what Uncle Dave said first. 449 00:21:18,043 --> 00:21:20,055 Tell junior when I walk out of here, 450 00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,590 I don't want to see him in this room, 451 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,974 any room, anywhere... Even a sleazy hotel in Bangkok. 452 00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:28,397 It was wonderful seeing you, and it's a good thing we did 453 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:31,054 because we'll probably never see you again. 454 00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:38,440 Dave... I don't want it to end like this. 455 00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:41,076 Just tell it to the doorman downstairs! 456 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,044 Oh, now you just hold it, brother! 457 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,282 All my life you've ignored me, you've humiliated me, 458 00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:49,117 and you've made me itch like the devil. 459 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,986 And I never stopped trying to win your approval. 460 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,755 Do you know what it's like to love a brother 461 00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,657 and he doesn't love you back? 462 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:55,813 It hurts. 463 00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:00,195 Goodbye, Dave. 464 00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,397 I still wish you well. 465 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,798 Come on, kids, let's go. 466 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:07,469 Oh, Daddy, you're so good at negotiating, say something. 467 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:08,704 Wait a minute... 468 00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:12,908 Wait a minute, junior. Give me a minute, will you? 469 00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,911 I, uhh... I learned a lot this evening. 470 00:22:15,935 --> 00:22:18,580 I... I really did. 471 00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:21,149 You made a fool out of me, man. 472 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,353 I came off looking bad. 473 00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,655 Maybe it's better that way, 474 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,890 but I don't want it that way any longer. 475 00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:30,258 I want it to be right. 476 00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:31,727 The folks are gone, 477 00:22:31,751 --> 00:22:34,129 and you and I are still brothers 478 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:37,466 and we're still alive, still very much alive. 479 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:41,058 I want your love as bad as you want mine. 480 00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:45,028 Hey, come on, put 'er there... 481 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,576 Freddy. 482 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,044 You're still a dynamo. 483 00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:51,179 You rascal. 484 00:22:51,203 --> 00:22:53,371 Hey, Mama... 485 00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:57,453 Listen, why don't I take us all to dinner? 486 00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:59,957 Get your purse, will ya, sweetheart? 487 00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,424 What's that for? 488 00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:04,648 For giving my father a brother. 489 00:23:14,660 --> 00:23:18,507 Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson. 490 00:23:18,531 --> 00:23:20,208 Mork calling Orson. 491 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:22,711 Come in, Orson. 492 00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:26,248 Mork calling Orson, Come in, oh, mighty sequoia. 493 00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:28,950 Why do you call me "sequoia," Mork? 494 00:23:28,974 --> 00:23:30,786 Well, sir, it's the fattest tree that I know. 495 00:23:30,810 --> 00:23:31,810 Ar ar! 496 00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,490 Your report, Mork. 497 00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:36,592 This week, sir, I learned about competition... 498 00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:37,993 The type of competition that occurs 499 00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:40,061 between different branches of the same family tree. 500 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:43,164 You see how that all ties it in... Tree, roots? 501 00:23:43,188 --> 00:23:45,868 You've told me earthlings were competitive, 502 00:23:45,892 --> 00:23:48,604 but I didn't know they brought it home with them. 503 00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:49,805 Oh, yes, sir, you see, 504 00:23:49,829 --> 00:23:51,940 Sibling rivalry has been around for a long time. 505 00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:53,275 It started off with Cain and Abel, 506 00:23:53,299 --> 00:23:54,743 competing for God's attention, 507 00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,112 right through Donny and Marie competing for the same hairdo. 508 00:23:57,136 --> 00:23:58,414 Oh, Donny, why? 509 00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:00,883 But isn't competition a healthy thing? 510 00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:02,651 Well, sir, it can be. 511 00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:05,020 You see, I think a family should be like a team. 512 00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:06,488 They shouldn't be forced to wear pads 513 00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:07,890 to protect each other from contact. 514 00:24:07,914 --> 00:24:09,758 Everyone should be rooting each other on. 515 00:24:09,782 --> 00:24:12,260 Well, why don't they? 516 00:24:12,284 --> 00:24:14,963 It starts with one person comparing himself to another, 517 00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:16,965 and he forgets that the only standards he has to meet 518 00:24:16,989 --> 00:24:18,600 are the ones he sets for himself. 519 00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,502 But, isn't it through competition, 520 00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:21,870 that greater heights are reached? 521 00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:23,405 Yes sir, but I don't think you should use 522 00:24:23,429 --> 00:24:25,541 your family as steppingstones. 523 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:27,365 Until next week, sir, na-no.